As the festive season creeps up on us like the disintegration of mascara when some else eats all of your advent calendar by the second of December, so does the pressure of being joyful, happy and thankful for two weeks of the year.
Scroll through your social media anytime and you will be flooded with various motivational quotes, powerful memes and psychology links on how to have the best life possible. For some people this does provide a kick up the backside to ‘follow your dreams’ or screenshot the shit out them, hashtag them on Instagram and make people think you are extremely busy #beingabossbabe. For others, this has the opposite effect and can induce some form of what the fuck am I doing anxiety. Why is there so much pressure being thrown at us to be ‘happy’ and why so much at this time of year?
If you look up the definition of happiness (on Google because that is totally legit research), it is
‘the state of being happy’
Now to me this is as about as helpful as the drunk random in the toilet trying to give you life advice when you are mid vomit.
Amongst all the articles I have read, and after studying Psychology at Uni (where I probably encountered most of my drunk random toilet assistance) I decided that nobody can really tell you how to be happy, the same as nobody can tell you if you are justified to be unhappy. The same applies to the measure of happiness, you got this!
Here are a few snippets of thought to get you through the happiness pressure during the festivities, if not there is always Gin.
1. You should smile more
Happiness is usually portrayed as having some sort of weirdo grin and laughing your head off. However, you may be somebody who experiences the resting bitch face issue which is people constantly asking you to smile more. This will increase over the festive season, how can you be miserable when you have eaten your body weight in Cadbury before 8am. My advice is to try my response ‘I can’t that’s just my face’, this makes them uncomfortable and makes me laugh it’s a win win.
2. Be someone that makes you ‘happy’
The majority of people would say they are happy due to being married, engaged, in a relationship or with somebody romantically who makes their life a bit more fulfilled and cosier. Don’t fall into the trap that this is the key to your own happiness. In every break up there would have been somebody shouting this advice at you while you ram that twelfth slice of pizza down your neck in between sobbing I mean singing an Adele number. The season of men having a breakdown due to a forced engagement and spouses meeting the fam all plays into this one. Take this advice, at the end of the day you managed an amount of years without a significant other, you can manage many many more years without them, a person should complement your own happiness not create it.
3. Your irreplaceabllllleeeeeeeeeee (you all sang Beyonce don’t lie)
As I mentioned earlier, social media is now suddenly filled with people who on the face of it have a perfect life. Those brows are on ‘fleek’ (should have checked the definition of that word when checking happiness?!), the body of a goddess/Adonis , they run their own business and post memes about being Mother Teresa, how can we compete with that shit? You don’t need to, nobody does.
The best part and simultaneously flaw with social media is, you can be whoever you want to be and strangers will take it as face value but those followers have no idea what happens outside of the phone screen. Each person is unique, for example, my eyebrows are not on fleek as I’m pretty much a closet ginger with no real eyebrows however I can rap to a variety of R n B songs at any given moment #skillz. This perfect life notion will increase over the holidays with blurry glittery selfies, I will just be glad the flower headband might bugger off, BRING ON THE GLITTER!
4. Hold the tape measure
Would you let a stranger measure your apartment to make way for the giant unicorn statue you want?
NOPE. So why would you let them measure your feelings or comment on them?
For some people getting up in the morning feeling rested and having a coffee placed in their hand by Gigi Hadid would be the ideal (ok not the Gigi bit, she busy strutting). For other people, they look for the long term such as the wedding, the house, the patter of tiny feet (sidenote this means baby, cat, dog etc let’s get with the times here). Regardless if your happiness tank is full because you handed in a really good report at work or because you just bought your first house these are all YOUR measurements and goals, you should high five yourself for them you don’t need anybody else too.
Closing argument ,the state of being happy depends on you, the state of you after your work Christmas function also depends on you, but that is another article…….