Last orders

My name is Vikki and I am not an alcoholic. However, recently life threw me a massive lemon and now I am no longer allowed to pair it with tequila.

It all started with a stomach ache, one bad enough to stop your Nutella addiction in its tracks. A few G.P.’s later this leads to seeing ‘Mr Specialist’. ‘Mr Specialist’ weighs me, I had lost a few kilos and secretly high-fived myself even though I knew this was a sign something was not right. The words ‘endoscopy’ and ‘colonoscopy’ get bandied about as if they were as common as a blood test. Well let me assure you, they’re not. They involve being off your face on anaesthetic and having cameras shoved down your throat and up your arse – super sexy stuff I know. Continue reading “Last orders”

The dessert menu

Three years ago, I had been single for about a month and I had just moved from a small town to a city. I was busy trying to embrace this whole modern man inner city living vibe. Everything was new and I had decided that I should maybe start dating. My home town protocol was just go out with someone you knew from school or from the local pub, but in the metropolis of Aberdeen there were endless ways of meeting people.  Continue reading “The dessert menu”