Limited confidence is a virtue they will prey on, the slightest hint of broken and they will rip that tear wide open. That Mother Teresa vibe and the fact you are obviously awkward in your own skin fills them with narcissistic euphoria. They will slowly spin the dynamic of the relationship.
You will start off feeling like the luckiest girl in the world, look at me she thinks, I have an actual prince charming who dotes on me and promises me the world on a daily basis- this.is.it.
The fact he forgets his wallet the first few times you go out seems plausible, you laugh and say well I hope you called the bank, they assure you they did and you handover your card to pay for the drinks so the both of you can get merry and have romantic deep and meaningfuls. All is well until the first argument which is obviously fuelled with alcohol, he turns angry very easily but in the middle of the street you forgive him, he gets all vulnerable and Mother Teresa forgives him .That is when you should have left.
Friends meet him, he comes across as extremely charming, he holds your hand and looks at you as if you are the most important person in the world to him, he laughs, he asks questions.
He MAKES them his business like another layer he has secured, of course you don’t think your friends all secretly think he is a class A bullshitter at this point. You meet his family, a pleasant surprise and you spend a lot of time with them, this is easy they are chatty they seem to like you and he is also happy, another layer for him.
Alcohol moves from a date like activity into something more permanent, your meeting him in the pub after work most days, you don’t really want to drink that much but then you cave and tell yourself this is fine, we are functioning . At the medical appointment you have to attend prince charming is there, he is so there, right by your side he takes time off work to come with you, you feel supported, you even feel supported when he turns up with a beer in his hand and when you have been railroaded by him asking if he can come into the appointment room. This is when you should have left.
Being sociable comes at a cost, the accusations of cheating, and the name calling more screaming matches the physical element and then shrinking back into yourself.
Moving in together seemed to be a way to fix things and to make it work, going shopping for shitty happy home tokens and pretending this was it for life. The house had a vibe to it, a nasty one and once the lock outs and being accused of being bi polar a couple of times a week continued , the house lived up to its vibe, and then some. Walking home on your own at night seemed more inviting than being there, the lock is broken and you break too. Work is delightful you stay there as long as you can, you feel the least alone there. This is when you should have left.
Then comes the Ellie Goulding gig she is one of your favourite people on earth and what better way to spend a weeknight with your beloved. You buy the tickets for you and prince charming. You spend the evening singing your face off and then spend the time back home shouting at drunk prince charming to fuck off and leave you alone to sleep as you have work in the morning. The day after was the beginning of the end thanks to you doing something you prided yourself on never having to do, look in his bag.
Hours pass, already you have been screaming on the phone in tears and in confusion to a close friend, what do I do? , where do I go? I want to leave, I want to sleep, I want my mum I want my sanity back , I want myself. Thief, drugs, no job right under your nose.
Not even the aftermath, not even hordes of people saying how much of a bad person he was could get through to you, this type of person will throw mother Teresa under the bus, YOU weren’t there for me YOU were so caught in your job YOU should’ve looked after ME.
This is not how that story is meant to end, you are meant to come out the better person, the poor girl who was duped, and will find her real prince charming. Instead you are the one who has to have your hand held by those who seen it all from the outside and could not get to you through the layers. Refuse to be another Mother Teresa. TC mark